“Hospitality to Strangers” (Hebrews 13:1-6)

Every family has their weird traditions. You know what I mean? Every family does things that seem perfectly normal and natural to its members, but outside observers find them strange. Other people might appreciate your traditions and understand why you do them—they might even do something similar—but the way you do it is unique.

For example, when I was growing up, my family would go to Blockbuster every Friday night. I would pick out a movie, and my sister would pick one too. And these were high stakes. I mean, back then, whatever VHS tape you brought home was the movie you were going to watch, whether it was good or not. It’s not like these days, where you can watch a movie for five minutes and if it’s not totally engaging, you just pop back into the queue and start another one in an endless cycle of streaming malaise.

So we’d get back home with our videos and put a Red Barron’s pizza in the oven. When the pizza was ready, we’d take a bedsheet out of the closet and put it down on the living room floor so we could eat in the den without getting crumbs and sauce on the carpet. Then we’d eat our pizza and watch our movies. This was our ritual—our tradition—every Friday night. It was the highlight of our week.

And I thought everybody did things this way. I thought every Friday night was a dedicated “Family Night.” It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized a lot of people didn’t do that in their families. A lot of kids got home on Friday night and just went to their respective places to hang out with friends, play video games, or do other things in isolation.

That’s weird to me, but what I did is weird to them. The point is every family has its own traditions—its own way of doing things that seems completely natural, and it’s difficult to think of doing things any other way. 

Y’all do it, too. Think about the way we speak. In Texas, if somebody calls something “wicked,” it means mark and avoid that thing—it’s evil. But up here, somebody calls something “wicked,” and they mean that thing is super neat.

See? We all, as a people, do things that simply make sense to us because that’s the way we were raised. That’s what we were taught to do. It’s our family tradition. And that’s what hospitality is to the Christian family.

Hospitality is not a foreign concept to the rest of the world. In fact, in the ancient world, hospitality had a much higher value than it does today. It was generally expected that one should be courteous to visitors. And that’s not much different from people today.

But Christian hospitality is something completely different. It’s a family tradition exclusive to the family of believers. Let’s take a look at the first three verses of Hebrews 13, and I’ll explain what I mean.

Hebrews 13:1-3

“Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you are also in the body.”

Let brotherly love continue…

First of all, notice that the writer of Hebrews says, “Let brotherly love continue.” This is not a command like the one Jesus gave His disciples in John 13:34, “Love one another as I have loved you.” At the time Hebrews was written, this family tradition was already in practice. This is something that had already been established by the Head of the household—Jesus. 

And it’s something we as Christians just sort of take for granted, right? We’re supposed to love one another. We’re supposed to love our neighbor. That’s how people know we’re Christians—how people recognize us as part of the Christian family (John 13:34). Love is pretty much the whole Christian tradition—it is the hallmark of our faith.

Outsiders recognize this, but it’s a little weird to them. They don’t quite understand it. In the second century, the satirist Lucian of Samosata wrote a very derisive but fairly accurate account of this strange Christian behavior in The Passing of Peregrinus. He said, 

“Their first lawgiver [Jesus] persuaded them that they are all brothers of one another…by denying the Greek gods and by worshipping that crucified Sophist Himself and living under His laws. Therefore, they despise all things indiscriminately and consider them common property, receiving such doctrines traditionally without any definite evidence.”

The world cannot comprehend the concept of “brotherly love.”  Lucian saw first and foremost that the mark of a Christian was selfless love. His remarks indicate that the Christian idea of brotherly love to include men and women outside of the immediate household family was ludicrous. It doesn’t make sense to those outside the family. 

And the willingness to share possessions unselfishly among members of the same family—not of one blood but rather covered by One blood—is unheard of. He’s making fun of us, but he’s right. Our Lawgiver taught us this tradition.

Every precept in Hebrews 13:1-3 stems from love and is rooted in a tradition passed down from Jesus. 

Show hospitality to strangers…

Jesus said in Matthew 25:35, “I was hungry, and you gave Me food, I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink, I was a stranger, and you welcomed Me.”

Hebrews 13:2 says, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”

There used to be a show on CBS that I would watch when I was a kid called Touched By An Angel. IMDB describes it this way: “The series follows a trio of angels disguised as humans who are dispatched by God to help individuals facing life-altering crossroads, ultimately delivering the message: ‘God loves you.’”

That’s kind of what I think of when I read this verse. There’s Biblical precedent for this idea, too. The most obvious is Genesis 18. 

“And the Lord appeared to [Abraham] by the oaks of Mamre, as he sat at the door of his tent in the heat of the day. He lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, three men were standing in front of him. When he saw them, he ran from the tent door to meet them and bowed himself to the earth and said, ‘O Lord, if I have found favor in your sight, do not pass by your servant.Let a little water be brought, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree,while I bring a morsel of bread, that you may refresh yourselves, and after that you may pass on—since you have come to your servant.’ So they said, ‘Do as you have said.’ 

“And Abraham went quickly into the tent to Sarah and said, “Quick! Three seahs of fine flour! Knead it, and make cakes.” And Abraham ran to the herd and took a calf, tender and good, and gave it to a young man, who prepared it quickly. Then he took curds and milk and the calf that he had prepared, and set it before them. And he stood by them under the tree while they ate.” 

In this case, Abraham was literally entertaining Jesus and two angels. And there are plenty of other examples in the Bible, as well as apocryphal stories, that indicate that Jesus or angels interacted with people without their knowledge. 

The point of Hebrews 13:2 is to show hospitality to everyone, because they very well may be angels. Jesus Himself said when you welcome a stranger, you welcome Him. Every time you show hospitality to someone, you are showing hospitality to Jesus. But I think there’s a less spiritualized way to look at this.

Think about what the word “angel” (ἀγγέλους) means. It means messenger. Every time you show Christian hospitality to a stranger, that stranger will become a messenger of God’s grace to someone else, as demonstrated by you, when they talk about how you showed hospitality to them.

As Christians, our hospitality is more than mere kindness. The word “hospitality” in Hebrews 13 [φιλοξενίας (philoxenias)] is better translated as “partnership with strangers.” 

John Koenig, professor of New Testament at the General Theological Seminary, said, 

“Fundamental to the building of partnerships with strangers is a community that experiences itself as the guests of God.”

When we were still strangers to God, He invited us into His household. 

Hospitality is first and foremost an attitude, not an action, and the act of hospitality is treated almost sacramentally here in Hebrews 13. God takes the common things and makes them holy.

Common things like bread and wine are used in remembrance of the New Covenant when we partake in the Lord’s Supper. Water becomes a symbol of our newness of life in allegiance to Jesus in baptism. And your home becomes a place of worship when you have partnership with strangers in partnership with God. 

In practice, hospitality is an attitude and act of worship. 

When we, as Christians, show hospitality, when we have a partnership with strangers, we have an expectation that God will partner with us and play a significant role in the ordinary exchange between guests and host. Hospitality is a gospel opportunity.

Hebrews was written to the church, and at the time, the church was held in homes. When you invite people into your home—when you partner with God to extend the kind of hospitality He showed you to others—you are the church.

It is our responsibility as believers to be the church by showing hospitality. Show hospitality by inviting people into your home and having Gospel conversations, or just a cup of coffee. 

When you open your home to others, you are the church.

We say that all the time: “We are the church gathered on Sunday and the church scattered throughout the week.” But do you mean it when you say it? Do you really think of yourself as the church?

If you mean it, then continue in brotherly love and show hospitality. Invite people into your home. Talk about Jesus. Bring up something interesting you read in your daily devotion. Tell someone about a prayer God answered for you recently. Start a Discovery Bible Study. Or just start with a cup of coffee.

Invite people into your life. Your home will be the church. Your school will be the church. Your workplace will be the church. The coffee shop will be the church.

You will be entertaining angels.

You can be certain that you will be showing hospitality to Jesus. 

He will be there with you, just like when Abraham showed hospitality to his three guests. Because Jesus said, “Where two or three are gathered in My Name, there I am among them” (Matthew 18:20). 

So if you don’t think you can do it—if you feel too shy or scared or introverted, or you worry you are too busy or unsure how to start—know that Jesus will be there to empower you. Remember that Jesus will be there with you. 

Remember His Name: Emmanuel, God with us. Remember that when you show hospitality, you are in holy partnership with God. You are the church gathered on Sunday, and you can be churches out in the world throughout the week.

And while you are showing hospitality in your home, remember those who cannot yet go home. 

Remember those who are in prison…

“Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you are also in the body” (Hebrews 13:3).

This is also a tradition passed down from our crucified and resurrected Lawgiver. 

“I was naked, and you clothed Me, I was sick, and you visited Me, I was in prison, and you came to Me” (Matthew 25:36).

When we are unable to show hospitality to others by inviting them into our space, we are obligated as followers of Christ to show hospitality by meeting people where they are. This is what separates the sheep from the goats—those who are true believers from those merely masquerading as Christians.

The examples of hospitality Jesus gave us in Matthew 18 are preceded by this:

“When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. Before Him will be gathered all the nations, and He will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And He will place the sheep on His right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by My Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For [you showed Me hospitality]…Truly, I say to you, as you did it to the least of these, you did it unto Me” (Matthew 18:31-35, 40)

And I love this Kingship imagery. The Son of Man comes and sits on His throne and invites us to stand with Him. It reminds me of a line from The Weight of Glory:

“It’s a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship…

“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendors…

“And our charity [or hospitality] must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner—no mere tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbor, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ [truly hides]—the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden.”

When you extend hospitality to the wretched prisoner, when you show Christlike kindness to those who have been mistreated, when you invite your neighbor into your home, you are serving the King. When you help a Christian brother or sister in need, you are healing your own body. 

This is our family tradition, and it has been for a very long time.

In The Passing of Pereginus, Lucian also noted this behavior. He said,

“Then at length Proteus was apprehended for [believing ‘the wondrous lore of the Christians’] and thrown into prison… When he had been imprisoned, the Christians, regarding the incident as a calamity, left nothing undone in the effort to rescue him. Then, as this was impossible, every other form of attention was shown him, not in any casual way but with assiduity, and from the very break of day, aged widows and orphan children could be seen waiting near the prison, while their officials even slept inside with him after bribing the guards. Then elaborate meals were brought in, and sacred books of theirs were read aloud.”

This is more than lame virtue signaling. It’s more than community service or do-gooding. This is who we are. This is the church—this is the body with Christ at the head. This is the tradition our Head passed down to us. Hospitality is a big deal. It is the very mark of true Christianity.

William L. Lane said,

“The sequence of Hebrews 13:1-3 suggests an implied call to full participation in the life of the confessing community. Those who respond in love, providing shelter to persecuted brothers and sisters, visiting them in prison, and caring for them when they are ill-treated, will, through these acts, acknowledge themselves to be Christians. Their actions will complement and validate their public confessions of Christian faith. In the absence of demonstrations of love [and hospitality]…public confession is an empty gesture.”

When you open the door to your home, to let people in or to go out to meet them, you are letting people see inside to the glory and grace of God. Make sure that what they see when they look inside is in order.

Let marriage be held in honor…

Verse 4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

That may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s another tradition that is unique to the family of God. I don’t need to remind you that adultery is explicitly forbidden in the seventh commandment. It is a Christian distinctive. 

In the Letter to Diognetus, written around 130 AD, the writer remarked that Christians, “Share a common table, but not a common bed,” because that was remarkable behavior. It demonstrates Christian hospitality: Open table, closed marriage bed.

There is a very practical reason for this directive. Remember, Hebrews was written with house churches in mind. When you are demonstrating Christian hospitality and inviting a bunch of strangers into your home, people are going to talk. There will be opportunities for gossip, and there will be opportunities for sin. The devil would like nothing more than to use good brotherly love to sow distrust within the community or the family. Hospitality will fail if marriage is not held in honor.

Hospitality is a big deal, but marriage is a bigger deal. Hospitality is a mark of a Christian. Marriage is the mystery of Christ. 

I said earlier that when you open your door in hospitality, you are letting people see inside to the glory and grace of God. When your marriage is on display, you are revealing Christ. 

Ephesians 5:25-32 says,

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,so that He might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,  because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

In your hospitality, you must cherish your wife or respect your husband. Hospitality will quickly turn hostile if you don’t. Do not neglect to show hospitality to your spouse and children. 

I don’t know about you, but sometimes it’s easier or more natural for me to show hospitality to strangers than it is to pay attention to my family. It’s not that I don’t love my family. It’s not that I don’t sacrifice for or cherish my family. But sometimes I see someone out there in need and run to help them while neglecting time with my wife and kids. 

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard something like, “You care about everyone else more than you care about us,” or “You go save the world; we’ll be fine on our own.”

And it takes some wisdom, some compromise, and sometimes you’ll have to prioritize a stranger for a moment, but marriage and the family must be held in honor. God will not call you to do something that contradicts something else He called you to do. And God called you to love and cherish your wife or love and respect your husband. Sometimes you have to show sacrificial hospitality to your family the same way you would a stranger. 

Do the dishes as an act of service, not merely a chore. Prepare the dinner table every night as if you are serving guests of honor. Stay off your phone and engage in conversation rather than being a body in the room. Find ways in which you can incorporate family into your hospitality to strangers, but do not prioritize strangers to the exclusion of your family. 

Keep your life free from the love of money…

Hebrews 13 goes on to say, “Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for He has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” (Hebrews 13:5).

The unselfish love to which we as Christians are called in the first three verses of chapter 13 can be uprooted and undermined by the love of money. If we hoard our resources instead of using what God has given us to help build the Kingdom, the local church will wither and die. 

Remember, hospitality is an attitude and act of worship. What you do with your resources indicates who or what you worship. Be content with what you have, because everything you have has come from God. 

Are you giving your time, talent, and treasure to build the Kingdom? Are you giving back what God has given you to do for the least of these? Do you really believe that “[He] will never leave you or forsake you”? (Hebrews 13:5b)

Are you putting that into practice? Are your actions validating your profession of faith?

Are you showing hospitality?

Are you expecting God to partner with you and play a significant role in the ordinary exchange between guests and host, making you a part of building His Kingdom?

Are you afraid that you can’t?

Start by “show[ing] hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”

You will entertain Jesus. 

“[He] will never leave you nor forsake you. So [you] can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?’”

When you start by inviting Jesus in, He will enable you to show hospitality to those He brings with Him. He promised to send another Helper, the Holy Spirit, to dwell with you forever. You are not alone in this. 

Pray about it. Ask God how He would like you to use your time, talent, and treasure to serve Him by serving others.

Invite someone over for coffee. Have dinner with your neighbors. Start a Discovery Bible Study in your living room. If you want to know what that looks like, talk to me. You can do it, because the Lord is your helper. He will never leave you or forsake you. 

Christ is the Head. You’re in His family. It’s in your DNA. Make hospitality your family tradition. It might look or feel strange at first, but in time, it will become the highlight of your week.